To begin with, if you are not of the mormon persuasion, it may be best to skip this post altogether, as you'll likely find the lingo to be very confusing and nonsensical. The rest of you crazy mo-mo's, feel free to read on.
In response to our...ahem....home teacher’s list of services and prices, I respectfully submit my own list of "services" along with fee schedule (or damages due to extreme emotional distress, however you wanna look at it):
-Sitting on the couch and listening to yet ANOTHER one of your riveting personal experiences: $10,000.00
-Needing a priesthood blessing but not calling you because we’re not even sure if you’re still our home teacher: $25,000.00
-Reporting you to the EQ Prez, the bishop, the stake president, and Salt Lake for ethical violations in relation to asking members to pay for services which are supposed to be free-of-charge: PRICELESS.
And yes, Polly, this one's for you, too, cuz I know you had to somehow be behind the whole "Price List" thing.
And in case anyone's wondering, yes, that is our wonderful, spiritual-giant-of-a-guy home teacher, Matt, pictured above. See what we have to deal with?? CLICK HERE TO VISIT MATT & POLLY'S WOG BLOG.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Dang Mormon Friends
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7 comments:
Oh man, Wait till Matt sees THIS! And by the way, that price list is ALL MATT. My only contribution to his hometeaching was the cute bows on top of the phone number magnet. ;P
Well, good. He tried to assure me that the bow was your baby, but I wasn't sure. I was hoping, you know, cuz it's girly n all.
Two things:
First: As far as the fee for listening to my personal experiences, I wasn't going to tell your family this until we move, but I made them all up, so you can't charge me for relating personal experiences. Second: As far as tattling to the EQ President -- Where do you think I got the idea from in the first place?!!
Response to "Brother" Lund:
OK, so now you've been LYING to us? That raises the damages on the extreme emotional distress to all new levels. You're a lawyer, though, so I guess I should have assumed you were lying. And I'm still telling on you. I'll bet the RS prez would like to know what you've been up to. Yeah, that's right. You heard me.
You changed your blog again and i like it....i like it a lot! You're hometeacher seems like a funny crazy guy. I wish ours was fun and crazy, but instead we have one that wears wranglers and stays for hours talking, but we can't understand a word he is saying. I'm pretty sure he is from the south. Once he sings a song, it's eternally his!
I love the new look of your blog! Did Jenna help you with yours, too? I HAD to do something with mine - the first one was straight from the '80s!! Black and neon! Anyway, yours looks great. And thanks for the comment about the lavender field. Both of 'em. I laughed outloud!!
Oh! I forgot to tell you the full name we decided on for our little girl. It's Emmalee Tarayne Epps. I know it's long, but our short last name kind of balances it out....hopefully. Sorry, I didn't email you back on that one :)
Also, I'm pretty sure I look like you more than anyone else in the family, so if YOU THINK I'm hot, it's because I have some Jacey genes in me.
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